a new phrase

O LEVELS ARE FINALLY OVER!!

yes. im relieved. i can finally get those textbooks out of my house, clear my shelves and re-decorate my table.

not only that, it's more towards moving on to a new chapter of my life.
i dont have have to worry about the papers anymore. it's goodbye to all the stress, anxiety and doubts they bring.

During the year, that was a period of time when i was ashamed and disappointed in myself. i couldnt love myself nor accept myself for who i am. i thought i was stupid and not good enough to do anything, all thanks to my o level results last year. i did not expect it to take it's toll on me. i thought i could handle it myself and smile through things. i guess i was wrong. i needed God. yes. He was there. without Him, i would be dead a long time ago.

there are some bonds once forged, not only will they not wither over time, they strengthen and provide a joist of solace. friendship is something that is very dear to me. it always surprises me on how two prank-sters can end up sharing their dreams and versions together when they only joke bout nonsensical things in school. every ounce of care and love, my friends gave, spurs me on in life. thank you all for making such a huge difference in my life. (:

ive finally found the strength and the courage to let things go. for 5 whole months, ive been clinging on, hoping that things will go the way i want them to. sadly, my effort was not paid off. im tired and weary. gone are the days when my heart aches and my stomach churns by every action done and every word said. though things might still cause a little stir in my emotions & sting my heart but i believe that time will make things well. & yes. ive come to terms and accept reality, a decision is what it takes. thank God for a volte-face.

i suppose i can't attend cellgroup meetings & saturday night services anymore since working in the retail industry requires me to work on weekends. especially friday and saturday nights. i'll miss my cell group members. esp. mil, tiff & zi.

for the past two weeks, ive been gg out early and returning home late. this have cause the gap between my parents and i to widen, it's as though things aint bad enough. half of me rejoices as there was no arguments nor quarrels between us since they hardly see me. the half of me misses them. even though my parents aint the best loving parents around but somehow or another, deep down in my heart, i know i love them. i miss talking to mummy about the latest korean dramas and doing early morning marketing with her. i could see that she misses me too when she talks to me, her eyes betrayed her. how i wish i can slip into her room right now, give her a hug and tell her how much i love her but i can't. words just refuse to come out of my mouth. dont ask me why.

lastly,
i'll end the post with,



a picture of myself. haha.

just in case you guys forgot how i look like since i wouldnt be blogging that often anymore.

tt's so narcissistic.

till then.